I believe this long-term wish of your heart is the residue of the act of volunteerism that caused your soul to be separated from the One and Only Being to become individuated. That courageous act of volunteering is the cause of all your subsequent suffering of abandonment, loneliness, and despair until you consciously remember the mission for which you volunteered. When you were still an angelic being there was an opportunity presented to you. God said, “Who shall I send? Who will go for me?” And you said, “Send me!” (from the book of Isaiah) Unfortunately, birth largely or completely erases the memory we have of that moment.

O Some souls retain the condition of the angelic planes and they become angelic people, full of light. Their memory of the heavenly state is so strong that they can only imagine that this world should be like that world. Some cannot accept the grossness they find and they long to be returned to the angels, which can never happen. They are like the architect who visualizes temples of crystal and has only bricks to build with.

O Some others see the beauty in the physical plane and from that they find happiness easily in any situation. However, frustration sets in when they see the suffering of others that cannot be consoled. They live in a beautiful world, but it is not really this world, it’s more a memory of that world. This world can never be like the world we left, but it can be better! Here there are complications like free will and the rules of matter. But this world is also the ultimate conclusion of the purpose of creation. This place is the focus of all the worlds and what happens here is more important than what happens in heaven! Unfortunately, not much of the potential of the heart has been fulfilled here.

O There are those who remember enough of the imperative they were impressed with to be able to recognize the need for it everywhere. But they burn out when they don’t find the means that answers the need. Accustomed to the power of the almighty, they know there is a power sufficient to right the wrongs, and so they seek out power. These are the ones who know how urgent the situation is. Their difficulty is that they see the symptoms but not the problem they’ve come to solve. They treat the wounds but not the diseases that cause them.

O Then there are those who know that the opportunity and the mission is to prove in life what was an assumption in heaven, to demonstrate in free will what the angels did automatically, to explore the variety and the diversity inherent in unity, to concretize the principles of love into the operations of life, and to realize the Heart of All in every heart. Their task is difficult because they have no relief from the knowledge of it, and no excuse of insufficient means. Their only limitation is in themselves.

According to where each of us falls in this spectrum of realization, we have a corresponding emotion. We each feel that our emotional challenge is the hardest because it's the edge of our heart's growth. Our task is to understand this growing edge by feeling it intensely. It appears in each of us as the most urgent wish of our heart, the most intense desire we've had all our lives. All that you discover here about your heart is incredibly important -- it truly has cosmic repercussions.

Going into your heart's depth has been likened to digging. At first there is only dry soil, then a little moisture appears. As you continue to dig, the soil becomes wet, indicating the presence of an underground stream. That stream is the desire that runs like a current through your heart.

I wish you good digging.