March 2007

Editors: Porter and Jeanie Underwood

These are two questions and answers Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan (Murshid) gave after a lecture on Healing on August 9, 1924. The first gives an especially succinct description of the little world (shell) a human being creates for her/himself to live in, and the unfortunate consequences which may follow. And then Murshid gives a beautiful testimonial to the free gift of divine grace.

These have been minimally edited. The questions are in italics to indicate that they are not Murshid's words. Other than a few words I had to add so the English would be acceptable, these are Murshid's exact words.

Q: What about the diseases of animals?

Murshid: Their disease is creative. An animal is more respondent to nature than man, and nature helps the animal to forget its illness more than it does man, because man is not respondent to nature. Every man has his little world. It may be so little sometimes that it is like a doll's house and in this world he lives. He is not concerned with this wide world, nor he is concerned with the universe. He just lives in his small world; that is the only thing he knows, that is all he is concerned with, that is all he is interested in. And therefore if his world is full of misery and illness and ill-luck, he cannot come out of it, because he has made a kind of shell, like the insects in the water make a little shell to live in and they live in it. The planet does not make misery for him; he has made misery for himself, and he likes to hide in this shell, he likes to live in it. It is his home. It is a shell of weakness, of misery, of goodness, of piety, anything.

Q: Are not some of us happy enough always to live by the grace of God? Why do we get this blessing?

Murshid: Everything belonging to the earth costs us, more or less. We purchase it. And there is only one thing which does not cost. It does not cost because we can never pay its price, and that is the grace of God. We cannot pay for it in any form, in any way, by our goodness, by our piety, by our great qualities, merits or virtues, nothing. For what does our goodness amount to? Our life-long goodness is nothing more than a drop of water compared to the ocean.

Sharif Munawwir Graham first encountered Sufi teaching in 1970, and has been studying it intensively, both as a scholar and as a spiritual pupil, ever since. He has edited several books of Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan, the teacher who first brought Sufism to the West in the early part of the 20th century. In 1982 he visited the archive of the Biographical Department in Suresnes, France, and from that time began working on Murshid's works every summer. He was a professor of Comparative Literature and Religion in the United States until 1998, when he retired and moved to Suresnes, France (near Paris) to work full time on The Complete Works, the eighth volume of which is nearing completion. He can be reached at Sharif Graham.

Winter Retreat in Pictures, by Linda Turner

Here are a few pictures of the Winter Retreat, along with what some participants had to say.

"Both the teachers and fellow students/participants were a constant sourch of insight and inspiration. The retreat exceeded all expectations!" Simon Linzell

"I loved La Casa de Maria and hope we can continue going there. To be in a paradise-like setting while sharing the hearts of all of these beloveds was a gift to be cherished for me, and the highlight of 2007, even though the year has just begun." Robin Carpenter

"Even attending only a portion of the retreat was amazing and inspiring and rejuvenating - thanks so much." Howard Glasser

"Saying this retreat was transformative or magical is like saying a rainbow is just a little water and light mixed together. I'm truly a changed being after this retreat! Words cannot give justice to the experience nor the deepfelt connections I've made at the winter retreat." Ronnie Howell

"I was reluctant to attend a four or five day retreat with IAM. I felt secure with what I knew about IAM and, far from enticing me, thought a retreat could be a bad move to head for the next stage. However, I knew the area around Santa Barbara was beautiful and I had grown comfortable with some of the people I knew were attending.

"The experience surpassed my best expectations. First, the setting was beautiful. The center was located in a peaceful grove of trees far from the maddening din of entertainment and commercialism. No place could be more relaxing. Second, the food was great and the homey accommodations comfortable and inviting. Third, Puran and Susanna put together a series of extremely well organized and focused presentations interwoven with guided meditations that enabled me to more of a connection between my mind and my heart. I left rested and renewed with the desire to stay longer. A wonderful time." Kim Cohen

"I had the MOST wonderful time in Santa Barbara and if I had known how great it would be, I would have arranged to stay longer. I left feeling relaxed, centered, peaceful, and renewed. What a gorgeous place and what a great retreat with Puran and Susanna!" Martha Bock

"I have been to many retreats, workshops and seminars on many subjects including self help and health and loving myself, etc., and never have I attended a retreat that impacted me more than the IAM Retreat. It has made a big difference in my life already. My heart has never been so open and stayed open for so long. I drove from Casa de Maria to LAX and was not in a hurry; thought nice thoughts about the other drivers; didn't get angry at anyone; let people in front of me; waved "thank you" to people who let me in front of them and arrived at the airport rested (considering I was in huge traffic once I hit the 405). Then while at the airport I did not get out a book and bury myself in it. I sat there and enjoyed watching the people, the kids and felt really warm towards them. I started a conversation with a guy sitting next to me (I even tried to energize him when he kindly watched my suitcase while I went to the bathroom). We sat together on the plane and had a very enjoyable sharing and he showed me how to use the video conferencing camera that I have on my computer and hadn't figured out yet. Usually I never talk to people on planes; I just get my book out and read and ignore.

"I have been able to stay with a warm feeling in my heart. I have not gotten upset with my husband, even when normally, in the past, I would have.

"BEST OF ALL - I'VE MEDITATED WITH THE TAPES I BOUGHT EVERY DAY SINCE COMING HOME.

"Just sitting here typing this I feel a warmth in my heart. I also truly loved the depth of connection I was able to establish with the other retreatants. If any of you come to Tucson, please let me know as I would love to connect again. Also thank you, Fazl and Blanchfleur, for all your wonderful guidance, work for the group, and loving, caring energy that you shared with me and all of us.

"From my heart to yours," Dee O'Neill

IAM Wins Peace Fair Award, reported by Karen Poulson

The Institute for Applied Meditation was honored on March 24th at the 25th Annual Peace Fair in Tucson for its mission of consciously creating love, harmony and beauty. Ted Cooper, President of the Tucson Peace Center presented the award to Puran Bair, Co-Founder of IAM, and members of the IAM community. Puran was invited to open the Peace Fair with a meditation, song and whistling. He encouraged those of the peace movement not to despair that the answer to war was peace. Specifically, he encouraged us to radiate waves of peace from our hearts to ourselves, to our neighbors, the nation, the people in Dafur and Iraq and beyond to those seen and unseen. His impact on the attendees was electrifying, his whistling Pia Jesu pierced peoples' hearts. One man stood in the midst of the crowd directly in front of Puran, chest open, shoulders flung back, just absorbing the waves of sound and peace. The effect was as if time stood still and there was a profound silence.

IAM Online Survey Helps Guide Program and Marketing, Alia Simpson

Last fall the Institute for Applied Meditation (IAM) conducted its first-ever online survey of the individuals on its e-mail list. Three different groups received the survey questionnaire online: people who have received initiation in IAM; those who are not initiates but who have attended an IAM event, seminar, or retreat; and people who have ordered a book or CD or have otherwise asked to be placed on the mailing list. To differentiate the groups easily we abbreviated these groups by referring to them as initiates, seminar attendees, and general audience.

Response to the survey was generally good when compared to usual response rates for online questionnaires. Fifty percent of IAM initiates returned the survey as did 20 percent of seminar attendees. Only about one percent of the general audience recipients completed and returned it. Here are some of the findings from the survey:

Respondents tended to be mature individuals with a high percentage over the age of 50. In fact, 71 percent of the initiates who responded, 68 percent of seminar attendees, and 59 percent of the general audience respondents were 50 or older.

Somewhat more women than men were represented in the respondent pool: 65 percent of initiates who responded, 54 percent of seminar attendees, and 51 percent of the general audience respondents were female.

IAM has a truly international flavor! Although small in numbers, people responded from Canada, Kenya, Sweden, the UK, Austria, Brazil, Denmark, Mexico, Australia, the United Arab Emirates, and the Netherlands. Among respondents in the U.S., the Southwest region was represented most highly, followed by the Midwest and the Northeast parts of the country.

Most respondents originally came into contact with IAM as a result of reading Living from the Heart or because they heard about the organization from a friend through word of mouth.

The majority of people who responded had a prior background in meditation and/or a consistent spiritual practice before encountering IAM.

Most of those who responded had used some remote form of instruction, such as the book, audiotapes, taking a webcourse, or reading from the IAM website to learn about Heart Rhythm Meditation. Of those who used one of these forms of instruction, Living from the Heart was the source most highly cited by all groups.

While almost everyone rated their ability to meditate using Heart Rhythm Meditation as "good" or "excellent," the rate of respondents who currently practice varied greatly. Ninety-two percent of initiates reported currently practicing, while 60 percent of seminar attendees do and only 36 percent of those in the general audience.

Those who had once practiced but stopped had a variety of reasons for doing so. These included lack of self-discipline, the need for a "live" teacher, and the lack of a community of supportive people with whom to practice in the area in which they lived.

All of the groups reported a high level of benefits corresponding to physical heart health as a result of their Heart Rhythm Meditation practice: decreased stress and anxiety, increased calm, peace, and subjective sense of well-being. Seminar attendees tended to identify benefits corresponding to emotional heart health more than the other groups: better relationships, healing of heart wounds, being more centered and focused, and being closer to one's emotions. Initiates described benefits including increased mental clarity, greater ability to focus, increased insight, being less spaced out and more in their body, and being more grounded.

The majority of the respondents, no matter what group they represented, are most attracted to IAM as a tool for spiritual development. Personal growth was the second most purpose in all groups, followed by the use of Heart Rhythm Meditation as a tool for social and global responsibility.

When people were asked what was most appealing about IAM, all groups cited the practice of Heart Rhythm Meditation itself as having very high appeal. Many specifically identified the simplicity and ease of learning of HRM, as well as its positive effect on their emotions. Smaller subsets identified IAM's roots in Sufism, a grounded-ness in real life, not eradicating the body, and the effect of HRM on their health as being most appealing.

The survey also asked respondents what was most frustrating about IAM in their experience. Here there was greater differentiation among the responses of the three groups. IAM initiates expressed more frustration with organizational issues than other respondents: seeming lack of clarity about mission and objectives, changes of focus and emphasis, and the length and cost of training requirements. In fact, the cost of programs and seminars was an issue for about 20 percent of each group of respondents. Individuals in the general audience expressed more frustration with difficulties in their meditation practice. People in all groups expressed frustration with their relative isolation, the lack of classes in their area, and the need for a personal relationship with a teacher in their vicinity. And everyone found his or her own behavior highly frustrating!

The Board of IAM reviewed these findings at length at its January meeting and is taking them into consideration when planning programs, events, and marketing strategies for the coming year. Many thanks to all who took the time to complete and return the questionnaire; your feedback has been very important at this critical time of change and growth within the organization.

Alia Simpson

Heart Work, by Jody Curley

It is a subzero February night in Wisconsin as I write this piece for the March IAM newsletter. Reflections of moonlight on fresh snow illuminate the night. The ancient pre-Christian cross-quarter festival of Imbolc has recently passed, reconfigured as Candlemas by Catholic priests and Groundhog Day by secular Americans. The old Celtic ones who celebrated Imbolc, living intimately with nature, watching the stars wheel through the skies as the seasons turned with the earth, honored the conception within the belly of the Goddess, the first faint glimmerings of the return of the light after the darkness of the winter solstice. It was a much needed promise in the coldest part of the year, when spring still seemed a distant dream.

How does a heart shift from the death of autumn and the deep hibernation of a winter's long night to the new life of a spring morning? Sometimes such a question is very personal. Sometimes it has to do with grief.

Just a few short months ago, as the light retreated and the darkness grew day by day, my dog died. But that simple description of what occurred does not do justice to what has been lost and what has returned.

I do not mean to diminish the intensity of emotion that accompanies the death of any beloved pet - it is a grief that cracks the heart wide open. I have been through it before. But this has been another order of bereavement. Some of us are privileged to experience at least once in our lives an extraordinary relationship with an exceptional animal, a love affair across species that changes us forever. This was true of my relationship with the golden retriever named Peanut, who I knew as my Beloved Familiar. She was, quite simply, one of the greatest gifts of my life, and we became so much a part of one another that I came to know and love myself better because of her.

As a dog trained from puppyhood to be a canine health care professional, a certified service dog, Peanut was with me almost all of the time. A few moments worth mentioning:

Peanut sitting at Tom's feet on her very first day at the adult day center, having chosen the sickest person in the room to stay close to all day, even though he was too ill to pet her. When Tom died two weeks later, his wife, Mary, said, "Did you know Tom had wanted a golden retriever his entire life? He finally got one..."
or,
Peanut at the 10-day Kalachakra initiation conducted by the Dalai Lama, as Tibetan people approached us and said, "This is a very special dog. You must get His Holiness to personally bless this dog, to help in attaining a human incarnation..."
or,
Peanut at the Abode, modeling the behavior of the Saint of Earth, the Saint of Water, being SO very good, offering herself simply and sweetly and helpfully to adults and children alike...
or,
Peanut in my mother's hospice room for two weeks, quiet, subdued, serious as my mother suffered - and then, the very moment after my mother's heart stilled, Peanut jumped up, pounced on a toy and began to squeak it loudly, tail wagging, light in her eyes...
or,
Peanut visiting me "on the inners" in the early morning of a solo retreat, even though we were separated by half the country. She sent the cloud-like softness of her yearning and devotion to envelop me. Later that morning, when Madeleine Susanna came to sit with me, she said she had felt Peanut, too.

And through all of it - all these places and people and roles and expectations and limitations placed upon her - she was willing and accepting and patient and responsive and gentle and forgiving and eager to go with me, wherever I went, whatever I asked of her, no matter how old and tired and uncomfortable she got. She liked everyone, she loved many, and she extended herself particularly and consistently to people in need - but all she really needed was me.

So it has been a huge change and a hard transition to get used to the absence of this amazing one who was almost always at my side with such sensitivity and beauty. I feel oddly alone again, in a way I have not for over a decade.

At first the pain of loss was so acute that I found it hard to breathe. I felt a secret window open in my heart, and some kind of primal wind blew through such an exquisitely tender chamber there that I couldn't find the rhythm of my own breath. Water flowed easily, and it helped to cry, but after the tides of tears began to ebb came hard, dry mornings with sharp edges and little hope or laughter. Moments of irritability burst into flame like dry timber. And there were times of missing her so desperately that I had to go looking for her in places we had been, knowing, of course, that she wasn't there, but needing to go anyway, even if just to walk the earth we had traveled together, and to remember.

But then, although I can't explain how, I began to feel her within me - at first occasionally, and then reliably. I no longer had to go searching for her and I no longer needed to cry for her as often or as long, because she was no longer absent. She was with me, in a way that was undeniable, even if I still missed touching her silky warmth and watching her move with graceful curiosity through the world. I realized I can miss her as she was and still know she hasn't really gone anywhere at all. She is within my own heart now. She is part of my history but also part of me, now, as I begin a new phase of my life.

So this is how a heart shifts from autumn to winter to spring. It is as organic and mysterious as the Elements - and, rather than something to be willed, it is a gift to be opened to and received, with gratitude - like a new and budding season.

Love to All,
Jody

Community Spotlight: Taj Walker, by Jeanie Underwood

On February 20, Taj Walker, a member of the Bakersfield, Ca, Heart Rhythm Meditation group, died. She was in a horse riding accident where both of her lungs were collapsed when a horse's hooves came down on her chest. She was unconscious and in intensive care for 2.5 weeks before she died. During that time, many of us from Bakersfield and the community of IAM initiates from around the world held her in our hearts and in our prayers.

Taj made her transition the last night of our winter retreat. It was a wonderful experience for us to go through this while we were with our spiritual teachers with our hearts so finely tuned and energized by the retreat. Puran told us that the birth and death of someone are the two times to celebrate, and that death only means letting go of the physical dimension of our beings. He told us that Taj was ecstatic because she had a mission. Rather than going on, she was choosing to stay and help others who are still here. Horses were her passion, and she especially wants to help children and horses connect with each other by being present to calm the horse and let the child feel the wonder and joy of getting on the horse with its magnificent power. Her spirit came to me a couple of times on Tuesday, and each time she was sizzling with joy.

During her time in the ICU, Puran said that Taj did a lot of work on the inner planes. Thanks to her and IAM, many others of us did also. I am very grateful to her, Puran and Susanna, and all of the seen and unseen beings who made this experience so powerful. I am hoping that this experience will continue to strengthen my heart to love, love, love, no matter what I may be facing or doing. Taj asked that we remember her by this song: "All I ask of you is forever to remember me as loving you." Because of who she was and how she carried herself in the world, that is easy. It has been an honor to know and love her, and to continue to be loved by her.

Jeanie Underwood

Community Voices

My 94-year-old grandmother was admitted to the ICU two weeks ago on account of a fall. While the fall was not serious, subsequent examination revealed that she had cancer and would only live another 3 months at the most. Anyhow, she had a heart attack in the emergency room and as a result had a number of tubes attached to her. Never wanting heroic measures to be performed on her, Grandma kept trying to remove all the tubing and eventually had to be restrained. My mother and my aunt were torn by a desire to honor grandma's wishes and those of the other family members.

The doctors told us that grandma's heart was not strong enough for her to survive the removal of the respirator. My mom said it would be horrible for grandma to suffocate upon immediate removal of the tube, but that hopefully God would provide an answer.

So on the morning of our difficult day, I went into grandma's room unattended and I tried an experiment. Recalling an exercise that I had learned in Bakersfield on a Halloween weekend, I attempted to synchronize grandma's heart and pulse with mine, hypothesizing that it might make her heart stronger -- just enough for her to live long enough so my family wouldn't feel guilty about "pulling the plug."

Within two minutes of performing the experiment, Grandma shot me a BOLT of heat that went down her left arm and hand and all through my body. The force was so great that I almost fell to the ground. I barely had enough energy to make it to the restroom where I promptly relieved every orifice of my body. Five minutes later I was back to normal, and within the hour, the nurses reported that grandma was breathing on her own and that she no longer required the respirator.

Grandma lived 4 more days completely without mechanical assistance. Oh what a relief!!

(Author wishes to remain anonymous.)

I am attaching a prayer that I wrote in July 2005 when I was struggling with being on my path and felt very despondent. I went out into the garden and sat by the pond and these words came to me. I hope it might be inspirational for your readers.

Love,
Delia Taylor-Brook

Dear God

Help me to have the strength
To live through my Divine nature.
Let me feel the joy of life within.
Let my heart be gently open - to myself and to others.
Give me wisdom and courage.
Let my creative self flow through life, become alive and strong.
Let me love, let me see, let me feel, let me be
My Divine Self - at all times and in all ways.
Today I forgive myself my weaknesses
And turn towards life
Like a sunflower turns toward the sun.

Amen

Delia
August 2006

I have been writing quite a lot of poetry recently, and a few people (including my IAM teacher and my IAM mentor) have suggested that I might send you some examples to you to see whether you would like to include them in the IAM newsletter. These are attached.

I think of you both with great love and fondness, and hope to see you soon. Maybe at the summer retreat, who knows?

Wishing you both a happy new year, and that 2007 brings you both closer to all you seek.

Heartfully,

Tony Dickinson

Calendar of Events

See www.applied-meditation.org for additional information. You can register here.

Letter From the Editor

It is such a pleasure to put this newsletter together this month. Many thanks to all of you who have contributed to the content. It is wonderful to have so many voices from our community join in this process.

In service,
Jeanie Underwood

Next Issue

Our next newsletter will be May, 2007. The deadline for submitting items is April 15, 2006.

Please write us, Porter or Jeanie, if you would like to share your comments or experiences with us, and with your permission, we will print them in our next newsletter when appropiate.